I’ve always thought the idea of setting expectations and goals for your future was the most difficult thing. What if I never lived up to what I set out to do? Or my life turned out completely different? Would I be dissappointed in myself and what my life had been? That is why I feel I have never really had a plan. I am more someone who just goes with whatever happens, rather than sticking rigidly to what I decide. I have witnessed firsthand how your life can be completely altered in just one day, and if everything can so easily be changed, why must we have our future completely planned out?

Yes I want kids, I always have, and I want a satisfying career for myself and all the normal stuff people talk about wanting. I want a nice house, maybe live in Boston for a while or New York City. However, even where I will live right after college is uncertain to me. Planning has just never been my priority, which may be irresponsible, but I doubt I will ever change it. 

Still, I have always had one certainty in my goals for my future self. I just want to be happy. It sounds so trivial and cheesy to say, but that is honestly what I want. As long as when I am ancient and look back on my life, I have a genuine smile, I will be completely satisfied. I know my future is uncertain right now, and that excites me rather than scares me like it probably should. All I really need to know in the end is that there are people around me that love me. And hopefully some of them showed up to my funeral, when my addiction to coffee finally caught up with me like I always knew it would.