I walk to the 1st tee
Not a person in sight
Swing I hit a tree
There is barely any light
Where is my ball
Maybe it is over there
A light rain fall
I take a bite of my pear
Found my ball
Onto the green
Hopefully my put will fall
At least this is better then a screen
In the cup it goes
Another par
I really like this poem. There is a very nice flow throughout the entire piece. I especially like the line, “At least this is better than a screen.” This is very relatable to our current times; most people just sit inside all day behind a screen whether it’s for work, school, or video games.
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I had to read this twice when i read “cup” i thought you were talking about indoor golf getting the ball into a solo cup like the instagram challenges but on the second read i got more of the imagery of the outside. I really liked the ABABA pattern you had. I decided on free verse but i bet this took more effort and decisons on word choice. I also got some of the frustration you had on the course but i liked that you said its better than a screen even eith the headaches.
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I thought you showed a lot in this poem with as few words as possible. I like how you started off by describing your misfortune as a golfer and then closed the poem with a triumphant par. There was a great rhythm to it as well. As someone who is no good at the sport, I can see how it can get extremely frustrating, yet at the same time I can see how peaceful it can be.
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I really enjoyed how you started off very simple focusing on just the one object. Then you followed that object and told a story of how this ball travels and is hit to its final objective. It was very unique and very fun to read and imagine!
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I love the mundanity of this poem. The imagery is captivating as well and it feels like you revealed a lot with very little words. “At least this is better than the screen”. These words are very refreshing for the times we’re in as well. I’m sure everyone is tired of staying inside all day and the outdoor setting in this poem is refreshing because of this reason.
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I really enjoyed the simplicity of this poem. As things around us seem to get more and more hectic every day, this poem offers a nice peaceful break from reality. I especially enjoyed the imagery of the light rainfall and taking a bight of your pear. I feel it really highlighted the tranquil nature of this poem. I also really love the image you included with this, the brightness of the green and the sun shining really makes me feel like we are all on the course with you.
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